Nothing Says Monday like Meatloaf!!!!!!!!
Cocktail: "The Old Gregg"
Bailey's. Nutmeg. Rocks.
The times certainly have changed since "Susperia". Dario Argento, the magical grandpappy of 'auteur' and slasher flicks, has a veritable "Ho Train" of movies that have influenced and shaped this genre. His warped mind has brought forth to the world some of the most bizarro, gore worshipping, genius to have graced the Art House screens.
This movie may be the exception to the rule.
"Pelts" is about a sleazy, old fuggle, fur trader (Portrayed by Meat Loaf Aday...he actually has a last name other than Loaf!?) that has a penchant from creepin on stripper/hookers. With his sights set on Shanna, the Queen Ho of Stripper Town, he comes into possession(literally, wink wink) of some raccoon pelts that were hunted down by none other than Nancy(A Nightmare on Elm Street)Thompson's Peepaw, John Saxon!! Sweet cameo aside, these pelts seem to have an essence that possesses whomever comes into contact with them and carries out bloody vengeance!
Plenty of self-inflicted mutilation, boobs, lady/lady times, and a VERY VERY unnecessary sex scene betwixt certain cast mates where, I'm pretty certain, Old Meat slipped the script writers a sweaty, back-pocket Benjamin and begged them to have a skank yell out that he had a obscenely huge peen! Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!!?
Worst Scene: The beast with 2 backs starring Meat and Slooty McGee.
Best Scene: Meat Loaf taking the knife to himself and making me wish I knew more about taxidermy!
Watch it! It's only 1 hour of your life that you were probably going to waste anyway. Make it so, y'all.
Stay Tuned for my take on Tuesday's pick!
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